Thank you for being here and taking the time to read my story. I share my own journey as an example of how our emotional wounds and life's greatest challenges are meant to be catalysts for growth, opportunity, and personal empowerment once we are finally willing to face the truth of these shadows existing within all of us. By surrendering to a higher power and choosing the path of self-love and healing, we may finally find peace as we are released from the shackles of our repressed emotions and inner child wounds that keep us trapped in the chaos of the mind. We can finally release toxic patterns of self-neglect, shame, guilt, limiting beliefs, and negative thought patterns to end multiple generations of ancestral traumas and abuse passed forward in our families and in our communities. Self-awareness and forgiveness through seeking our own inner truth is the only true path to healing and personal freedom. It is through self-awareness we unlock our true passions and authentic purpose in life. When we hold the capacity to lovingly witness and accept the subconscious emotional wounds and trauma patterns stuck in our blind spot, we open the door to authentic love, peace, and harmony. 

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I began my most challenging experiences in very early childhood, and I am beyond grateful for each and every one, knowing they had a higher purpose to catalyze soul growth and emotional wisdom. It is through my pain and suffering I found the higher power which has enabled me to see through the illusion of all fears I once perceived to be larger than me.

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​As a childhood trauma survivor originating from sexual, mental, and emotional abuse, I became quite accustomed to emotional dissociation and escapism from a very young age as a self-protective mechanism. Throughout most of my life I’ve chosen the road less traveled. As a college student living 75 miles away from home, I became pregnant by the age of 20. Two years later, I made the decision to leave my abusive relationship to be a single mom juggling work and school with a beautiful baby girl. After graduating with my bachelor’s degree in nursing, I continued the fast-paced juggling act working double shifts to pay for student loans, a home for my daughter, and a tumultuous custody battle. When my emotions became too overwhelming, I escaped through self-medication and over working to mask the deep pain I held inside. Being accustomed to self-neglect and abandoning my own needs, I hadn't yet learned to fill my own cup first or set personal boundaries. Over accommodating the needs of others and saying yes when I wanted to say no was my normal way of being because it felt familiar and more socially acceptable. Just like many in the material world, I became so drained by people pleasing, stuffing my emotions, and pretending to be "happy" in the daily rat race that I became disconnected from my authentic self and lost connection with my true passions in life.

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Over working, self-medication, and years of high stress began to burn me out by the age of 30 when I had neck surgery for a herniated disc. By no coincidence I woke up in the recovery room unable to swallow or use my voice due to a rare complication listed on the patient consent form I signed before surgery. I spent the next two years attempting voice therapies and temporary vocal cord procedures until I elected to have one last neck surgery placing a permanent vocal cord implant. I later realized that losing my voice was meant to let me hear the voice of my inner child asking me to surrender and listen to the emotional pain in my body. I did not surrender at that time, but the patience, deep listening abilities, and advanced communication skills I gained without my voice could only have been cultivated in such a prolonged period of quiet. 

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Falling into convenient patterns of escapism and denial I continued to give my power away to addiction patterns and everything outside of me. I was not ready to face my fears of seeing my own negative traits and repressed emotional pain while trying to appear successful and happy on the surface. My will power was strong enough to carry me through decades of pain while denying my own poor coping mechanisms and perpetuation of negative ancestral patterns instead of taking responsibility for my own healing. They say it is human nature we don't change until we become so uncomfortable, we have to. I can attest that when our time comes to surrender, the higher power finds a way to shake us awake by any means necessary. I hit bottom when I was hospitalized with an extremely high fever and life-threatening illness where I feared losing my life. Finally, I knew there was no more denying or escaping, and that my only path forward required deep self-reflection and healing. Once I surrendered to a higher power greater than me and took responsibility for my own healing by acknowledging the ways I had been perpetuating negative ancestral patterns and coping mechanisms into my life it was truly miraculous how quickly I found a sense of peace and relief from the pain I had carried for so long. For me it was true what they say... I was only given as much as I could handle in every situation, and fear was the only thing getting in my way.

 

After my final wakeup call, I made self-care and healing my first priority. I knew I was being guided onto a new career path, so I decided to go for my master’s degree in health communication, but during grad school I found myself spending more hours choosing to study energy medicine and ancient natural healing practices than I did my secular program. I soon made the life transforming decision to listen to my heart and begin my career in holistic healing! 

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Thank you for reading!

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With Love & Grace,

Cole